Every single person on this planet has at least one secret that could break your heart. If we could just remember that, there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Changing My Life for the Better

Recently I have had some things happen in my life that have put things into perspective for me... I have decided to begin to do the best I can to love life and living which at this point is a challenge for me but I have a plan! This is a list of things I am going to do in my life to make my little world a better place to live.

First: Learn to "totally and completely love myself even if I am not well now." That is the mission statement one of my doctors has had me intergrate into my life. I am going to remind myself of that fact on a regular basis and say it out loud at least three times a day.

Second: I am going to stop focusing on the negative and bring in the positive. I am a pesimist at heart, I see the bad in myself, and in others. From today on I am going to do my best to see th beauty in myself and those around me.

Third: I will do what I know is best for me reguardless of what my peers, community, or family say. I love all the people in my life with all my heart but too often I do what I think is best for everyone els rather than what is best for me. Right now I'm focused on healing and being a good person.

Fourth: I am going to begin to take care of myself. I am on medication both perscription and herbal to help me get where I need to be mentally, but I will begin to take care of my physical self immediately. I am doing this to not only have a better body for my career path but because I truly beleive that the way you take care of your own body is a reflection of how much you love yourself, and since that is another one of my goals I am going to love myself from the inside out.

Fifth: I will CALM DOWN! Its easier said than done to be rid of anxiety and depression but the more I keep it a deep dark secret the scarier it seems. I have problems like everyone else but I can't hide that I have them. Letting people know I have some mental problems is a great way for me to CALM DOWN. I will also consistantly remind myself that all decisions are not life and death decisions. I will take my mothers advice and learn to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

I am not sharing these life changes I intend to make to brag about myself or to get attention in any way. By posting this so my family and friends can see I am committing myself to changing my life for good! I hope to make weekly or monthly updates on how good/bad I am doing with these goals :)

2 comments:

Linda said...

I am so proud of the progress you are making Jaron, and I am glad that you have come to the conclusion that you can love yourself in spite of your frailties. That is the hardest thing any of us ever try to do. I love you!!

Craigers said...

Hey Jaron,

I don't really know you, but I was in your TMA class with Beene. First off, I can't tell you how much your performance of 'If you were gay' meant to me and what a simply stunning job you did performing the piece. I've had a lot of struggles this semester and one of them was that class. Your performance really made the whole ordeal worth it to me. :)

Second. Man, I feel for you. ya know, all we can control is ourselves, (somewhat). :o haha.

You can't just say, oh, depression, go away, but it sounds like you are taking courageous steps to do better. I really admire that and encourage you to keep going. Coming to BYU was also a last minute decision for me and I haven't always fit in and I've had a lot of problems with depression and the likes, but it has also been the best decision of my life. Some of the people I've met here and the experiences I've had I'd never change.

Like I said, we don't really know each other, but if you do ever need to talk I'd be more than happy to listen.

Craig Foster