Every single person on this planet has at least one secret that could break your heart. If we could just remember that, there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world

Monday, December 13, 2010

One semester down... who knows how many left to go.

This past semester here at the U has possibly been the hardest yet best few months of my life. I have learned so much about myself in so little time, I'm almost nervous to see what life has in store for me for the next few months. I have made new friends, obsessions, sleeping habbits, taken risks, spent a night in the hospital, spilled my secrets, let my trues self shine, slept in a grave yard, made friends with homless people, helped friends, laughed my ass off, practiced until my fleet nearly bled, learned what it means to really be an actor, figured out how to be more down to earth, realized I'm more messed up than I thought, and most importantly learned to love myself INCLUDING my flaws. So here is what I have taken away from one semester at the U.

-SECRETS are always destructive. I have been amazed by what being open with people has done for me. I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin, and I know its because I have FINALLY after 19 years let people know who I really am. I don't live in fear that someone will discover my secrets anymore... because I don't have any anymore.

-You can NEVER have too many best friends. I have never in my life had so many people that care about me. TRULY care. I have met the most amazing people here in Salt Lake. Plus I still get to keep the most amazing provo/davis county friends I already had :) I'm so blessed to be surrounded by people that truly love me. I can honestly say that I would not be alive today were it not for the friends that I have. There have been so many times when my life seemed worthless... but then I get a text from Jessa, or a funny picture from karli or alex, or a voicemail from michael that says i miss you, or a pictre of david bowie from taryn and everything is ok. I have a huge group of beautiful loving people in my life and I am so grateful for that.

-People are always watching. People notice when you screw up... but sometimes getting yourself back up on your feet after you fall is even more admiralbe than being perfect.

-when i pull up my passe' higher i can get a tripple on my right side :)

- "openness to failure breeds the possiblilty of success" -Sarah Shippabothom

-post secret is the most beautiful collection of art I have ever seen

-There is nothing that can cure depression better than a wine glass full of 1% milk and a few episodes of Sex in the City.

- "art is everywhere" -Olivia Vessel

- I perform because I love it. Not because I'm good at it.

- Its so easy to alter yourself to please other people. And you can make people care about you very quickly that way. But it will never bring you the fullfillment that comes from being loved for who you truly are.

- Heartbreak is nessisary. Without it I would have never realized that I didn't have self worth.

-Self worth is something I will search for my entire life. But it is the process of searching for it that makes life beautifl and exciting.

-I hold grudges. I gotta fix that.

-I prefer hot chocolate to coffee even though its not as sophistocated.

-Blizzards are great times for walking through graveyards.

-My mental illness doesn't restrict me. It makes my life more meaningful. Feeling things strongly doesn't make me a freak. It makes me an artist.

-I don't need anyones approval to be happy. I MATTER. The best decisions I have ever made are the ones where people thought I was stupid for taking a risk.

- I will learn to love myself. It might take my entire life. But I am patient.

3 comments:

BroadwayMan said...

is was just awesome. no other words for it. :)

Laura Anne said...

hey-I really really like this post! It is amazing how much one can learn in just a single semester, huh?! You are great! Keep on learning from everything! You are going to go far in life if you do! :)

Jessie J said...

I love you. The end.