Every single person on this planet has at least one secret that could break your heart. If we could just remember that, there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I feel so much spring

This is an entry from my personal journal that turned out... well sounding more like a blog entry than a journal so i thought i would share it with you all :)

During HYPOMANIA, life can seem more beautiful and thrilling than it normaly or actually is. But today, hypomania is no match for how beautiful Salt Lake City is. I'm sitting against a big tree just outside my house. I can hear birds chirping, see flowers blooming, and smell fresh cut grass from my neighbor mowing his lawn. Today spring feels especially beautiful to me. Depression is a cold, dark, and quiet winter. Its as if everything becomes washed out like a thick sheets of snow covering green fields. Then... srping comes... and there is enormous relief. I am always so thrilled to see that first bit of grass shooting up out of the white snow. No matter how scary life is.. that first bit of grass is enough to make you want to roll up your pant legs, take off your shoes, and run to the nearest grass patch to bask in the beauty of the world we live in.

I'm a rapid cycler. I experience ups and downs weekely... but even in those weeks of mania there has still been a lingering ache of depression for the past 8 months. I've been suffocating under that thinck blanket of snow. But today, as I sit under the sun, against a maple tree, with my shoes off and my pants rolled up... I can't help but have a hunch that MY spring... is just around the corner.

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