Every single person on this planet has at least one secret that could break your heart. If we could just remember that, there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world

Monday, June 21, 2010

Dealing with Anxiety

So for the past little while I have been in sort of a daze/slump. After consulting with my doctor and therapist the decision was made to increase my dosage of lithium and cymbalta and add zanex to help my mood become more stable. Well guess what.. it worked. The problem was I wasn't me anymore. I was completely apathetic toward everything and too tired to get out of bed all day until I left for my show at 5. I missed voice lessons, doctor appointments, messages, physical therapy, therapy, you name it I blew it off. So I have come to the decision to go back to my old dosage (which still helped a little, but not a ton) and work harder with my therapist on overcomming my extreme anxiety and depression. So why am i boring you with my sappy story? Because beleive it or not EVERYONE has anxiety or depression to some extent and it is important to learn how to manage it!

So this is what I have been working on:

The first step to fighting anxiety/depression is finding what the triggers are. Sometimes (especially in cases of bipolar disorder) the triggers are difficult to find. But it is so important to recognize them! In my case my triggers have a lot to do with insults and insecurities. I get depressed when I am insulted at all. If someone doesn't like my shoes, thinks a note i sang sounded bad, ect. And I get very anxious if I feel insecure. I get extremely anxious when i am at parties, social gatherings, talking to people after shows, if i feel fat, my hair isn't right, or my clothes don't match etc.

So after you find the cause recognize the reality of the cause. 99.9% of the time there is very little truth or depth to what is giving you anxiety or depression. Look at me I am NOT fat, I am a people person, I have great hair, I can sing well.... but all the things that freak me out SOOO bad contradict those truths. And even if they are true, sometimes my clothes don't match right, does it really actually matter to anyone but me? will it make a difference on my life in the long run? NO.

After that distract yourself from it. Forget it. Have a good time, hang with friends, get work done, laundry, organize, i personally play that piano and sing to distract myself.

After you have distrated yourself for some time you are able to look back and see that what you were anxious or depressed about REALLY didn't matter at all. IT WANS'T YOUR LOGICAL BRAIN IT WAS YOUR ANXIOUS/DEPRESSED BRAIN.

It isn't easy to do all of this. Trust me I've been trying for weeks. But when I DO manage to get the steps down right I find an incredible amount of peace. Now I know that not everyone has emotional disorders, but it upsets me that the only people that get advice on how to make your life better are messed up people like me! ;) So to anyone who is reading this weather you are crazy or not PLEASE  apply this in your life. You will be astounded by what it can do for you.


Miss Molly said...

Love you. Love your honesty. And Love that I get to do the show with you Wednesday night.

Kayleigh said...

oh, you're not the only crazy one. i promise. :)

and, if it makes you feel any better, your clothes always look wonderful to me.

Silver Strands said...

Well Jaron ... just found your blog through Kayleigh and I have to ditto her words :)
And wanted to say Good for YOU and good luck to you in all of your endeavors ... enjoyed your "about you" section.

I have kids at BYU now ... small blogging world, isn't it!
Have a great weekend.