ok i'm a little obsessed...

Ok i'm totally obsessed with adam lamberts new album so i have to write about it! as a matter of fact i'm listening to it while i make this blog entry :) its got a good variety of songs that you can actually dance to which is my favorite part! there are also some really amazing slower more deep songs that i was very impressed with as well. so anyone who is looking for some new music look no further than ADAM!

Limitations

Like many people, I struggle with this topic a lot. I am guilty of limiting myself and others ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. So I was talking to a very wise (unnamed) person about this topic and he had some very interesting insights on the matter.

His idea is that there is a conscept that we as humans create called Limiting Beliefs. These are limitations we put on ourselves to keep us from acheiving our potential as human beings. Why do we do this? Because we are afraid. We are afraid to belive that we are good enough to achive all that we desire. We fear failure. Well guess what! Fear is a limiting belief. Anything that holds us back from reaching our potential is a limiting belief. Lets say a woman says, " because of the career path i have chosen, i will never be wealthy. thats just the way it is." THAT is a limiting belief. THINK about it. How often have you said something like that to yourself or to someone else?? "I can't sing." "I'm just not pretty." "i am never gonna get married." As trivial as they may seem, they truly keep us from exploring options in our lives. Options that may bring us more happines that we could ever imagine. The more limitations we put on ourselves the more we restrict ourselves from opportunities to GROW. And isn't that what the purpose of life is? To learn and to grow.

Ok now I'm definately no expert on this matter, and I have no right to give advice on how to not limit yourself, but this is something that I'm working on and I thought hey maybe the ten or twelve people that read this will be able relate.

LESSONS LEARNED

So after one whole semester of college life here are a few things I have learned:

1. Pizza bagels are not real food, if you eat more than twelve in one sitting you will get a very bad stomach ache. I promise.

2. Cooking is not evil. After getting frequent pains and complications from frozen foods, I have decided to give it a try.
3. RELAX. Ok now I'm actually the worst ever at this one. I have to take lots of pills and breath A LOT to get this one down but it is important! Things in life generally are not life and  death, the more I remember this the easier it is to calm down.
4. Learn to let go. I have never done well with change (which is terrible seeing as my future career will force me to change on a weekly basis) and moving out was a big change for me. Although I had a hard time at first I have been getting better at being comortable with change.
5. BLOGGING is my friend. It seems like every time I enter a blog entry, or read someone elses, I feel inspired to be a better person. I don't really know why but thats just the way it is for me haha.
6. I'm a little different than I thought I was. My cousin Nikki told me that you find yourself in college, and boy was she right. Although I am still learning a lot about myself on a daily basis I have already learned a lot about my strengths, and my weaknesses.
7. GROWING UP isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Other kids couldn't wait to grow up and get out. I was NOT one of those kids. But after living on my own (sort of) for a while I have realized that I am capable and have nothing to be afraid of.
8. I MATTER. I used to be a people pleaser, but that is definately not who I am today haha. I have found that doing things my own way is really awesome!
9. BYU is NOT the celestial kingdom! I was a bit nervous going to BYU because I thought I would be sinner among angels, but I have realized that is definately not the case. Everyone has problems and trials in their lives and "HAPPY VALLEY PEOPLE" are no exception!!
10. Happiness comes from within. Now I'm not saying I'm an expert on this subject either cause I'm still in the process of figuring it out, but I can say that no one can make you happy but yourself. No matter how many doctors you see, therapists you talk to, relatives you plead with, or pills you take, at the end of the day true happiness is a decision. Its not an easy one, and for some people its a little difficult at times, but only I know how to make ME happy and thats what makes life worth living.

GOT IT!!

I'm very excited because I was just cast in a brand new musical at BYU called CASEY AT THE BAT!! I'm really honnored to have been cast, so many people auditioned and only fifteen men cast so I'm very flattered. I have a lot of work to do yet and I am working harder than ever I'm so greatful for encouraging events like this in my life to keep me going :)

Changing My Life for the Better

Recently I have had some things happen in my life that have put things into perspective for me... I have decided to begin to do the best I can to love life and living which at this point is a challenge for me but I have a plan! This is a list of things I am going to do in my life to make my little world a better place to live.

First: Learn to "totally and completely love myself even if I am not well now." That is the mission statement one of my doctors has had me intergrate into my life. I am going to remind myself of that fact on a regular basis and say it out loud at least three times a day.

Second: I am going to stop focusing on the negative and bring in the positive. I am a pesimist at heart, I see the bad in myself, and in others. From today on I am going to do my best to see th beauty in myself and those around me.

Third: I will do what I know is best for me reguardless of what my peers, community, or family say. I love all the people in my life with all my heart but too often I do what I think is best for everyone els rather than what is best for me. Right now I'm focused on healing and being a good person.

Fourth: I am going to begin to take care of myself. I am on medication both perscription and herbal to help me get where I need to be mentally, but I will begin to take care of my physical self immediately. I am doing this to not only have a better body for my career path but because I truly beleive that the way you take care of your own body is a reflection of how much you love yourself, and since that is another one of my goals I am going to love myself from the inside out.

Fifth: I will CALM DOWN! Its easier said than done to be rid of anxiety and depression but the more I keep it a deep dark secret the scarier it seems. I have problems like everyone else but I can't hide that I have them. Letting people know I have some mental problems is a great way for me to CALM DOWN. I will also consistantly remind myself that all decisions are not life and death decisions. I will take my mothers advice and learn to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

I am not sharing these life changes I intend to make to brag about myself or to get attention in any way. By posting this so my family and friends can see I am committing myself to changing my life for good! I hope to make weekly or monthly updates on how good/bad I am doing with these goals :)

Revisiting PIPPIN

So I'm into my third week here at the Y and I've just been cast in my first show, PIPPIN. I was so excited when I heard a graduate student would be directing my favorite show! Yes I know I've been it before but I couldn't resist auditioning! I auditioned last week and I found out a few days ago that I got cast as KING CHARLEMAGNE. I'm so excited to play this type of character because its something I don't get cast as very often, so I'm so greatful to the director for having enough faith in me! This production of PIPIN is a shortened version and it is not a main stage musical so it performes three times on a thursday afternoon for the theatre students here at BYU. Its on October 22nd at 1, 2, and 4 o'clock. Even though this is a smaller production it is still very competitive so I'm so excited I was given a character! My next audition is for a main stage musical called Casey at the Bat. I audition against hundreds of MDT students here that are very very talented but I'm staying positive! I'm so greatful I've had the opportunity to watch the amazingly talented students here and I can't wait to get to a point when I can join them! I've got a lot of hard work ahead of my but the future looks bright!

A SLIGHT CHANGE OF PLANS

OK so on my last post I talked about going to Weber State University... well i'm not anymore! It is a really long story so if you're curious i'd be happy to tell you about it ... but its too long to type! Long story short after a pretty amazing prayer related experience I have decided to switch to Brigham Young University! I am a pre- Music Dance Theatre student and I will audition for the actual program this december! If I make it into the program I hope to spend a year in the program after my mission and possibly a year with the young ambassadors, and eventually transfer to a bigger name school back east to finish my degree. After that the sky is the limit! Now I know it seems a little strange that I made this last second decision but I really feel good about it and I know its the right place for me to be.

Turning Points

My theatre scholarship letter from WEBER STATE!!! woohooo full tuition!!



Senior awards night :) i was awarded a dance award and was recognized for my four scholarship offers ... and sat there while all the really smart kids stole the show haha



Graduation day!! my family was there to support me and so was my awesome cousin nikki and my grandma :)

GRADUATION DAY

So today is graduationi day! Although I understand today is really just another transition in life, it feels like a big step. After today my education (and my life) are completely up to me. And by the end of the month I will be an adult!! It seems that whenever I go through a transition in my life I start to look back on all the good times. Well i've done so much of that lately I just want to start looking forward to a bright future.



This fall I'm moving to the far away land of Ogden Utah and attending Weber State University on a full tuition scholorship studying musical theatre! My life is changin quickly but I don't want to cry and miss the old times. I'm ready for my future, ready for change, and almost ready to be a sort of adult :)

Update on my life

Alright its been a while since a updated my blog so I figured its about time!! Radium Girls closed a little over a week ago and it was hard to see it go. It was my last play at CHS and I am having a hard time accepting it haha. Right now I'm basically wrapping up all my high school work with a dance concert, choir concert, closing socials, tests and all that for a month.
I have accepted a four year full tuition scholarship to Weber State University for musical theatre. I got the scholarship based off of two auditions. I am currently looking for somewhere to live in Ogden and room mates so if anyone can help me please let me know :).
I recently won first place at the senior high school divisioin of the NATS broadway vocal competition. Also the CHS productions class competed at the state level with our one act play The Rules of Comedy and were one of four schools in the state that received a medal. A few days ago I got the opportunity to sing with the Utah Light Opera and the Utah Premier Brass! It was an amazing opportunity to be surrounded by forty people who had gone to college for voice! It was an awesome performance, and it was fun to get to work with professionals in a choir! I am also just starting a new show called State Fair with clearfield city. I am the rehearsal accompanist and I also play Wayne Frake.(thats the farm boy that falls in love with a jazz singer and gets dumped)
So I thought as the school year was coming to an end I would have a little down time... i guess not! But I have been so blessed with amazing opportunities and a great family that supports me even though I'm not around very often :) As for my personal and social life.... well i haven't really had one for the past three years! But even though all the things I do are a big time commitment, I still wouldn't trade what I have learned for anything in the world! I am just so glad that I have my home and family as a constant to keep me from going crazy! (ps go check out my senior pictures on facebook they turned out pretty awesome)

RADIUM GIRLS

CHS productions last performance of the year, Radium Girls, will open on april 22-25. This is one of the most powerful and moving productions I have ever been in. It is a historical drama about young girls who worked as painters for a radium company. They painted glow in the dark paint on watches for soldiers in WW2. As they painted the dials they would point the tips of their brushes with their lips. Over time the radium from the paint went into their bodies and poisoned them. This show focuses on the life of one of these girls named Grace Fryer. Grace takes action against the company that is neglecting to help her pay for medical bills and assume responsibility for her condition. The play teaches a great message about taking responsibility for ones actions, and how one persons determination can go a long way. This is one of those shows that could make you cry so if you like that kind of thing this is the show for you :) This show has a special meaning to me because it is my last performance at CHS. I have learned so much at this school and I'm getting ready to move on. This show has a great meaning to CHS as well as it is our director Alyn Bone's last year teaching at CHS. We're sad to see her go but we're so greatful for everything she has taught us. We want nothing more than to make her last show at CHS the best show she has ever done!

on the right track.

Pippin closed this weekend and I'm amazed by how quickly the time is going by. Did I seriously just finish my very last high school musical? I only have one more production (Radium Girls) before I have to move away to who knows where and pray that I've learned enough in these few short years to get through the next phaze in my life.

I auditioned for scholarships about a month ago (once again wow time is going fast) and I received scholarships to some smaller schools but I have more call back auditions to finish before I know for sure where I am headed. Its very scary not knowing where I'm going but I have goals and dreams that I intend on accomplishing and I feel like I am on the right track to obtaining those goals.

PIPPIN

Join Us! February 25th-28th in the CHS Auditorium at 7:00 CHS Drama will present the school musical PIPPIN. Pippin is the story of the son of King Charlamane and is set to seventies pop music. Its a fun up beat show and we have a great cast. Please come its a show I'm really proud of and I can't wait to perform it.

If you want to listen to a sample of what the music from the show is like go down to my playlist and click on "magic to do" from PIPPIN.

The Moment I've Been Working For

The Utah Theatre Association is holding auditions for theatre in front of nearly every theatre professor in the state of Utah. This is the audition of a lifetime for me! I've been working toward getting into college programs since the eight grade and now the time has come to prove myself and test my work. I'm so nervous! The auditions are the last weekend of January during the Utah Theatre Conference that the CHS productions class will be attending. The scary thing is I'm not competing against myself, or my school.... I'm competing against theatre students just like me all over the state who want it just as bad and have worked just as hard as me. The good news is that I'm prepared! I just sent in my head shot and resume on friday and I have picked my audition material. I will sing "Funny" from City of Angels. It is a great dramatic peice and I'm so lucky to have found a great baritone song thats not too overdone. I will also perform a monologue form Wall of Water. Wall of Water is a hiilarious comedy about a community bathroom in an apartment building. I'm really happy with the material I have found. Now all I can do is work my but off to have the best audition possible! I still can't beleive this is all happening. It seems like yesterday that I was in Bye Bye Birdie at the junior high screaming songs that were way too low for my unchanged voice ha ha. But I've done as much work as I possibly could in the past four years and for some reason I always asumed I'd be ready for all the change thats happening in my life but sadly I'm not. There are days that I can't wait to head off to college and leave my high school days behind. But then there are days when I think it wouldn't be too bad if I could just go back and re-do the last few years. It would certinly be less stressful and a whole heap easier! I'm scared to death to move on with my life but I know that I will be happy with my future as long as I keep doing what I love to do. (even if that means being an out of work actor/waiter in new york) :) wish me luck!!!